


For Science

by stjarna



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Really it's pretty silly, hint of bus kids, really I was going to give it a G rating but just wanted to be more cautious, the mildest of implied sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 19:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17566745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjarna/pseuds/stjarna
Summary: Season-3-adjacent AU with no real angst and no Daisy on the run. Director Mace has an idea. Jemma's totally on board. Fitz is... skeptical.





	For Science

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lilsciencequeen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/gifts).



> Big thank you to @dilkirani and @lilsciencequeen.
> 
> I've been meaning to write this fic for almost two years, and something @lilsciencequeen said the other day, reminded me that I still hadn't done it.

Fitz spun around, looking at Jemma in utter disbelief. “You signed us up for _what_?”

Jemma stood in her pajamas by the bathroom door, one arm in front of her chest, the other raised to the side, palm-up as if she were presenting her idea on a platter. “It’s a brilliant idea. One of the better ones Director Mace and his PR posse have had. Many people are still hesitant to accept S.H.I.E.L.D. back as a reputable organization. Our incoming funds are not what they used to be. This little project may be just what S.H.I.E.L.D. needs to a) get some additional funds and b) brighten its public image—in a whimsical way.”

Fitz fanned his arms out to the side, his right hand still holding on to the folded pair of socks he was in the middle of putting away. “Whimsical? Whimsic—? Jemma!”

Jemma looked at him wide eyed, both arms now folded in front of her chest. “What?”

“Nude???”

Jemma shrugged. “That’s the entire point.”

Fitz stood frozen, his arms still fanned out, not quite believing that his girlfriend really didn’t see anything wrong with her plan. “As in naked!”

Jemma stared at him silently, only raising her eyebrows slightly as if to say ‘so what.’

“As in no clothes—” Fitz crossed his arms over each other, palms facing downward, his right hand still gripping the socks in rage. He quickly moved his arms apart in a cutting motion. “—at all.”

Jemma continued to look at him in apparent astonishment without saying a word.

“As in full frontal.” He waved the hand holding the socks up and down his front, noticing how his voice was reaching the high-pitched levels he hated.

Jemma lifted her shoulders to her ears. “Yes, all of that.”

Fitz balled his hands into fists, pressing them against his forehead, closing his eyes. “Why? Why, why, why, why?”

“Fitz. It’s for science!”

Fitz’s eyes snapped open and he stared at her in absolute bewilderment. “It’s a nude calendar! How the bloody hell is a nude calendar for science?”

“All the proceeds from the calendar are going towards S.H.I.E.L.D. That includes the Science Division. Thus, for science,” Jemma explained matter-of-factly.

Fitz finally put the pair of socks down. He pressed his palms together and his lips into a thin line. “Okay. Alright. Fine, but—” he tried to reply calmly, before gesturing towards the hallway. “—S.H.I.E.L.D. has hundreds of well-toned, six-packed ops agents. Like Mack. Take Mack. Let him do it!”

A hint of a sly grin appeared on Jemma’s face. “Oh, believe me, he’s on my list.”

“Alright.” Fitz threw one hand in the air. “Then pick eleven more, call it done, and leave me out of this.”

“We are trying to show the diversity within S.H.I.E.L.D. It’s crucial to include agents from all divisions.” Jemma gestured between Fitz and herself. “And we are the highest-ranking and most brilliant scientists S.H.I.E.L.D. has to offer. It seems only natural that we should be the ones representing the Science Division in this calendar.”

“Jemma. No one wants to see me naked.” Fitz slumped his shoulders, waving up and down his front.

“I do,” she replied softly, her eyes filled with adoring love.

“Yes, well, that’s nice—” Fitz stammered, unable to hide a blush and a smile, “but you’re the only one, and _you_ can see me naked anytime!”

Jemma smirked slyly, taking a step closer and sliding her hands up Fitz’s torso before wrapping them around the back of his neck. “I think you are grossly underestimating how attractive you are, Agent Fitz.”

He scoffed, pulling her closer by the hips, before grimacing in discomfort, dropping his head back. “Okay, but taking nude pictures in the lab would definitely not be sanitary,” he attempted a different approach to get her to reconsider her plan. “What about ‘A tidy lab is a happy lab’? That’s your number 1 lab rule, the one you always bring up whenever I make even the slightest suggestion to—”

“Well, we would obviously prepare a specific area for the photoshoot and ensure that all surfaces would be cleaned and disinfected to restore the lab’s pristine condition,” Jemma countered matter-of-factly. “Plus, considering the circumstances, I could even be persuaded to agree to your previous suggestions which I hitherto had declined.” She ran her index finger along his jawline, sending a rush of heat to Fitz’s crotch.

“You mean we could—?” Fitz stammered wide-eyed.

Jemma shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, we’d be naked already. It would be a shame to miss such an opportunity.”

Fitz cleared his throat. “Just to clarify: That—suggestion you may agree to would happen after the photoshoot, correct?”

Jemma pursed her lips. “Or prior to.”

“But definitely— _definitely_ not during?”

Jemma chuckled, shaking her head. “Definitely not.” She paused, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the soft curls at the nape of his neck. “Though I’ve always been curious what we look like when—”

“Different subject,” Fitz interjected quickly.

“So you agree?” Jemma asked, one corner of her mouth ticked up as if she already knew his answer.

Fitz groaned, before sighing deeply. “Alright.”

* * *

Fitz pulled the bathrobe even tighter against his naked body, redoing the knot of his belt for the fifth time within the last few minutes. He nervously glanced at the window front of the lab, reassuring himself that the black cardboard they’d used to block the windows was still in place, preventing anyone from peeking in. He sighed, yelling a silent “Why??” in his mind, before turning around, focusing back on setting up their ‘stage.’ He picked up a glass beaker, wanting to move it to a different spot on the workbench.

“Be careful with that,” he heard Jemma exclaim.

Fitz turned around, looking in confusion at his girlfriend. “Why?” He brought the beaker to his nose, taking a sniff, before pulling his nose back in disgust. “Why the hell would you pour hydrochloric acid into this?”

Jemma shrugged. “It has to look authentic.”

Fitz stared at her with utter disbelief. “It’s a clear liquid, Jemma! You don’t think water would look just as authentic in a still photograph without the risk of giving me chemical burns in areas where I most definitely don’t want to have any chemical burns—or other burns—or any kind of pain?”

Jemma tried to suppress a chuckle before raising her hands in defeat. “Alright, fine, point taken. I will swap it out.”

Fitz sighed in relief, handing Jemma the beaker. “Thank you.”

His head whipped around when the door to the lab suddenly swung open.

“Alright, you guys ready?” Daisy announced herself, camera in hand.

“Ready? Ready for wha—?” Fitz’s eyes widened. He did a double-take between Jemma and Daisy. “She’s our photographer? _You’re_ our photographer?”

Daisy lifted her shoulders, pursing her lips. “I can take a decent picture. And I’m free. The whole point of this thing is to raise money for S.H.I.E.L.D. Doesn’t make a lot of sense to spend money on a professional photographer.”

Fitz shook his head vehemently, pointing at Daisy. “No. No, no, no, no, no.”

Jemma slumped her shoulders. “Oh, Fitz.”

“No. No. Definitely no.” Fitz crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’m not getting naked in front of one of my best friends!”

Jemma smiled, taking a step closer and curling her arms around Fitz’s waist. “I’m one of your best friends.”

“Not the same. Plus—” Fitz gestured at Daisy. “She’ll comment—”

“On what?” Jemma asked, wrinkling her forehead.

“On—things,” Fitz stammered in a high-pitched tone, wiggling his index finger a few more times at Daisy. “She’ll make fun of me.”

“Oh, she will not,” Jemma countered, seemingly convinced of her own words.

“No, actually, I probably will,” Daisy chimed in, grinning sheepishly. “Just to fuck with him a little. He’s an easy mark. It’s hard to resist that.”

“Ha!” Fitz cried out triumphantly.

Jemma’s expression saddened and she slumped her shoulders. “Well, then what do we do? It’s all set up.”

Daisy’s lips pulled wide. “I have an idea. Give me a minute.”

She spun on her heels, heading back to the hallway.

Once the door closed behind Daisy, Fitz pulled Jemma closer by the hips. “Remind me why I agreed to this again.”

“Because it’s for science.”

Fitz raised one eyebrow skeptically.

“And because I agreed to have sex with you in the lab afterwards,” Jemma added, her eyes sparkling suggestively as she pressed her lower body against Fitz’s, sliding her hands up the front of Fitz’s bathrobe, and snaking them around his neck.

“Mmm. That—” Fitz mumbled, before kissing her. “That was it.”

Jemma giggled, whispering, “Or prior” against his lips, before deepening the kiss.

Fitz felt heat radiating through his body as it responded to their tongues dancing in a kiss that quickly grew more passionate.

He almost bit Jemma’s lip in panic when the door to the lab flung open, banging against a cart standing next to it.

Fitz’s eyes widened in shock when May strut into the room, clutching Daisy’s camera. “Alright, let’s do this. I don’t have all day.”

**Author's Note:**

> For those familiar with Calendar Girls: Yes, it's totally inspired by that.


End file.
